Tag Archive for: #redflagsinrelationships

How to Identify a Narcissist

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“Narcissists are consumed with maintaining a shallow false self to others. They’re emotionally crippled souls that are addicted to attention. Because of this they use a multitude of games, in order to receive adoration. Sadly, they are the most ungodly of God’s creations because they don’t show remorse for their actions, take steps to make amends or have empathy for others. They are morally bankrupt.” ― Shannon L. Alder, Author

I believe the term narcissism has become one of the most overused psychological terms on social media, and it is now common to hear someone described as a narcissist simply because they appear selfish, arrogant, or difficult to get along with. Caution is advised before applying the label “narcissist” to someone, as any personality disorder should only be diagnosed by a qualified mental health professional following a comprehensive assessment. Of course, many people can occasionally behave in a self-centred or attention-seeking manner, but a true narcissist demonstrates a long-standing pattern of behaviours that significantly affect their relationships, work, and everyday life. In reality, there is an important difference between displaying narcissistic characteristics from time to time and having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and understanding the common warning signs can help you recognize when someone’s behaviour may be unhealthy or even emotionally abusive.

What Is a Narcissist?

These individuals display an excessive sense of self-importance, a strong need for admiration, and a lack of genuine empathy for others, often believing they deserve special treatment and may exploit those around them to satisfy their own needs. Not every narcissist is loud, arrogant, or boastful, and some can be very charming and charismatic, while others appear shy, sensitive, or even vulnerable. Beneath these various projected personalities, there is often a similar desire for admiration, validation, control, or superiority.

The Nine Official Diagnostic Characteristics

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves a persistent pattern of behaviour, with at least five of the following nine characteristics being present:

  • A grandiose sense of self-importance.
  • Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
  • Belief that they are unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status individuals.
  • A constant need for excessive admiration.
  • A strong sense of entitlement.
  • A tendency to exploit others for personal gain.
  • A lack of empathy and difficulty recognising or caring about the feelings and needs of others.
  • Frequent envy of others or the belief that others are envious of them.
  • Arrogant, haughty, or dismissive attitudes and behaviours.

It is important to remember that these characteristics must be persistent, inflexible, and cause significant problems in the person’s functioning before a diagnosis is considered.

How to Identify a Potential Narcissist

Although no single behaviour can actually prove someone has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, some of the following warning signs often appear repeatedly over time:

  • Dominating conversations and frequently steering the focus back to themselves.
  • Constantly seeking praise, validation, or admiration.
  • Struggle to accept criticism and may become defensive, angry, or insulting when challenged.
  • Rarely accept responsibility for their mistakes and often blame others.
  • Appear charming during first impressions but become increasingly controlling as the relationship develops.
  • Lack genuine empathy and often dismiss or minimise another person’s feelings.
  • Manipulate situations to gain sympathy, admiration, or control.
  • Exaggerate their achievements or abilities.
  • Deeply believe rules apply to everyone else but not to them.
  • Will use guilt trips, Gaslighting, or emotional manipulation to gain and maintain influence.
  • Frequently portray themselves as the victim, even when their own behaviour created the problem.
  • Form relationships based on what others can provide rather than genuine mutual respect (Transactional Relationships).
  • Become jealous when others receive attention or recognition.
  • Often alternates between idealizing someone and then suddenly criticising or devaluing them.
  • Their behaviour forms a consistent long-term pattern rather than being an isolated incident.

*This list is not exhaustive

One of the biggest mistakes people make is judging someone by how they behave during the first few weeks, months or honeymoon phase of a relationship. Narcissistic individuals often make an excellent first impression and may appear to be confident, attentive, generous, and deeply interested in getting to know you. It is usually only after trust has been established that the more controlling, manipulative, or self-centred behaviours gradually begin to emerge.

How to Deal with a Suspected Narcissist

If you believe someone displays persistent narcissistic characteristics, it is usually more productive to focus on managing their behaviour than trying to change their personality.

  • Set clear personal boundaries and be prepared to enforce them consistently.
  • Avoid becoming drawn into unnecessary arguments or power struggles.
  • Do not expect genuine empathy if they have repeatedly demonstrated a lack of concern for your feelings.
  • Pay close attention to patterns of behaviour rather than promises or apologies.
  • Keep realistic expectations about what they are willing or able to change.
  • Avoid becoming isolated from supportive family members and trusted friends.
  • Trust your observations if you consistently feel manipulated, confused, or emotionally drained.
  • If the relationship becomes psychologically abusive, seek advice from a qualified therapist, domestic abuse organisation, or legal professional where appropriate.
  • If your physical safety is at risk, prioritise your wellbeing and seek immediate assistance from the relevant authorities.

Perhaps the most valuable lesson is to judge someone by their consistent behaviour rather than their words. Healthy relationships are built upon trust, accountability, empathy, mutual respect, and emotional safety, so if these qualities are repeatedly absent, it is worth asking whether the relationship is truly serving your best interests.

“Relationships with narcissists are held in place by hope of a “someday better,” with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.” ― Ramani Durvasula, Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist

Summary

While throwing around the term ‘Narcissist’ has become increasingly popular, true Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a complex mental health condition that requires professional assessment. Most people occasionally display selfish or self-centred behaviours without meeting the criteria for a personality disorder. Rather than just focusing on labels, it is usually much more helpful to recognize patterns of manipulation, entitlement, lack of empathy, and repeated boundary violations. The earlier these patterns are identified, the easier it becomes to make informed decisions about the relationship’s future and to protect your own mental and emotional health.

(C) Nigel Beckles

Why Are Some People Abusive?

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“Abusers do not need to be, and rarely are, cackling maniacs. They just need to want something and not care about how they get it.” ― Carmen Maria Machado, In the Dream House

Experiencing a mother who was at times verbally and emotionally abusive inspired me to conduct research over the last several years to understand the various types, which has been an interesting journey, and this article briefly explores the various types of toxic personalities. The majority do not fit neatly into a single category, and many display a combination of characteristics, with one or two traits being more dominant than the others. They rarely behave this way for a single reason; instead, their conduct is usually shaped by a combination of personality, life experiences, learned attitudes, emotional regulation, and beliefs about relationships. While many have experienced adversity themselves, this does not excuse their actions because the overwhelming majority of those who suffer abuse do not become abusive. Ultimately, it is a choice that is repeated and reinforced over time, particularly when it succeeds in achieving the desired outcome of power, control, or personal gain. Abusive character types include:

Controlling Personality

Control is often at the heart of abusive relationships for these individuals, as they believe they have the right to dictate how others should think, feel, behave, or make decisions. These personalities may monitor activities, isolate loved ones, criticize independence, or use intimidation to maintain authority. Their greatest fear is often losing influence over those closest to them.

Entitled Personality

Those with a strong sense of entitlement believe that their needs, opinions, and desires should take priority over everyone else’s. They often expect special treatment, becoming resentful when expectations are not met; rather than viewing relationships as equal partnerships, they may see others as existing to meet their emotional, practical, or financial needs.

Manipulative Personality

Manipulative individuals prefer influencing others indirectly rather than communicating honestly. They may use guilt, emotional blackmail, deception, Gaslighting, triangulation, or playing the victim to gain advantage. Their goal is often to influence someone else’s decisions without appearing openly controlling.

Narcissistic Personality Style

Some abusive people display strong narcissistic traits, including an excessive need for admiration, a fragile sense of self-worth, and limited empathy for others. Criticism may be experienced as a personal attack, leading to defensiveness, blame-shifting, or retaliation. It is important to recognize that not everyone with narcissistic traits is abusive, and not every abusive person has narcissistic personality disorder.

Aggressive Personality

Aggressive individuals rely on intimidation, anger, threats, or violence to dominate others. Their responses are often driven by poor impulse control, hostility, or a belief that force is an acceptable way to resolve conflict. Over time, those around them may begin modifying their own behaviour simply to avoid provoking another outburst.

Exploitative Personality

These individuals habitually use others for personal gain with little regard for the consequences, with relationships being primarily viewed as opportunities to obtain money, status, sex, attention, or practical assistance. Once their needs have been met, they may lose interest or discard the relationship altogether.

Emotionally Immature Personality

These individuals often struggle to tolerate frustration, accept responsibility, or regulate their emotions. Rather than resolving disagreements constructively, they may resort to blame, sulking, silent treatment, or emotional outbursts when they do not get their own way.

Vindictive Personality

Some people become abusive because they have an overwhelming need to retaliate against perceived rejection, criticism, or humiliation. They may hold grudges for years, seek revenge, spread rumours, or deliberately damage another person’s reputation, with their focus often less about resolving conflict and more about making the other person suffer.

Opportunistic Personality

For some, abuse is simply an effective strategy when they discover that intimidation, deception, coercion, or manipulation enables them to achieve what they want more quickly than honesty or cooperation. If these tactics consistently succeed without facing any challenges, they can establish a habitual way of interacting with others.

Learned Behaviour Personality

Those raised in homes where manipulation, intimidation, violence, or emotional abuse were normal may come to view these behaviours as acceptable ways of dealing with conflict. Although these early experiences increase the risk of repeating unhealthy patterns, they do not determine a person’s future, with many choosing to reject what they witnessed and develop healthier relationships instead.

Summary

“One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.” ― Michael J. Fox, American Actor

Although abusive people differ in personality and motivation, they often share several characteristics such as struggling to respect boundaries, avoiding accountability, minimizing the harm they cause, and placing their needs above those of others. Some are driven by fear, insecurity, or emotional instability, while others are motivated by entitlement, power, or personal gain, but regardless of the reason, the defining feature of abuse is not occasional conflict but a repeated pattern of conduct that causes psychological, emotional, financial, physical, or sexual harm. Recognizing these patterns allows us to focus less on why the abusive person behaves this way and more on protecting our well-being, establishing healthy boundaries, and making informed decisions about the future.

© Nigel Beckles

Available from Amazon

How to Avoid Making The BIG Relationship Mistakes!

Paperback available Amazon @ https://shorturl.at/MtyT9

Kindle Edition @ Amazon https://tinyurl.com/yewsxzfx

‘How to Avoid Abusive Relationships’ is a practical and compassionate guide to recognising, understanding, and escaping abusive relationships before experiencing lasting emotional and psychological harm. Drawing on relationship psychology, real-life experiences, and decades of research, relationship specialist Nigel Beckles explains the warning signs of abuse, the tactics used by controlling and manipulative individuals, and the patterns that often keep people trapped in unhealthy relationships.

Due for publication 2026

Trust Issues That Damage Relationships

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Trust Issues That Damage Relationships

“I may have trust issues, but some people seem to have an issue with the responsibility of being trusted.” ― Melchor Lim, Author

Trust is the foundation of any close connection, whether it’s a friendship or an intimate relationship, relying on honesty, consistency, a feeling of emotional safety, and the belief (and in some cases hope) that someone has integrity. Confidence rarely breaks all at once but usually erodes slowly through repeated incidents that display inconsistency when a person’s words and actions don’t line up, or their behaviour shifts unpredictably, creating discomfort; one day they are present and engaged, the next  distant or dismissive. This pattern of unpredictability can be more destabilizing than a single betrayal because it causes a constant state of uncertainty. Boundary violations like inappropriate interactions with others, such as excessive flirting or dismissing agreed-upon limits within the relationship. Something that seems minor to one partner can feel deeply disrespectful to the other, especially if particular boundaries were clearly communicated. Dishonesty, such as outright lying, withholding information, omitting details, or telling half-truths, is usually a deal breaker. Sometimes trust is shattered immediately, while in other situations, it eventually creates a kind of mental fog where the other person starts to question reality.

Difficult Problems

“Betraying someone once can be a mistake. Betraying someone twice is a choice.” ― Garima Soni, Words World

Certain issues can damage trust, changing how one partner views the other. Repeated deceptions, where someone begins to feel that they cannot rely on what they are being told, make it very difficult to rebuild a sense of safety with new pieces of information filtered through a perspective tarnished by doubt. Emotional neglect can be an issue, as when someone feels constantly unseen or consistently unimportant, the damage can be immense. Betrayals such as emotional or physical involvement outside the relationship tend to cut deeper because they challenge the entire foundation of the relationship. Scenarios that involve hidden secrets over a long period of time also tend to be particularly difficult to heal, not necessarily due to what happened, but because of how long these were hidden. The focus generally shifts from the acts of disloyalty and deception to personal morality, and doubts can persist despite explanations and apologies. In situations involving one partner who is unwilling to take full responsibility for their behaviour while lacking remorse, any trust that may remain has very little to rebuild on.

Overcoming Challenges

“Betrayal annihilates trust. The more trust there is to begin with, and the more deception is involved, the more damage is done.” ― Sandra Lee Dennis, Author

Rebuilding trust requires more than apologies, but also a shift in awareness and conduct that not everyone is willing or able to sustain. Restoring faith is possible, but rarely swift, requiring a deliberate, patient reworking of how the relationship operates if it is to be successful. Honesty will be vital as the emotionally injured partner usually needs space to express how they feel without being pressured, rushed, or corrected about how they feel. For the culprit, this process tends to be uncomfortable but necessary because without it, the hurt tends to be suppressed only to resurface later in perhaps more damaging ways. Rebuilding trust involves overall consistency instead of grand gestures, so small, reliable actions while being open and honest will be essential, especially in the early stages. Both parties need to be willing to look inward at themselves, with the guilty party needing not only to apologise but clearly understand why the situation occurred and not just to promise it will not happen again, with the other partner perhaps needing to explore how the experience has shaped their fears, reactions, and expectations moving forward.

Recommendations

• Be honest, even when it feels uncomfortable or exposing.
• Take full responsibility for your actions without shifting blame.
• Allow space for difficult conversations without rushing resolution.
• Focus on consistent, reliable behaviour rather than grand promises.
• Respect and reinforce agreed boundaries at all times.
• Practice transparency where needed to rebuild a sense of safety.
• Avoid defensiveness when your partner expresses hurt or doubt.
• Seek professional support if patterns feel too entrenched to shift alone.
• Be patient with the process, rebuilding trust takes time.
• Check in regularly with each other to assess progress and emotional needs.

Summary

“Unfortunately, words mean nothing when you can’t back them up.” ― R.A. Smyth, Broken Trust

Trust, once badly shaken, does not simply return because two people want it to, but has to be restored, piece by piece, through honesty, consistency, and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths. There are wounds that run deeper than others, especially where there has been repeated deception or a great deal of emotional absence. With genuine accountability, emotional awareness, and sustained effort from both sides, faith in the connection can be gradually re-established. However, the reality is that there will always be relationships that cannot be saved after a serious betrayal.

© Nigel Beckles

Why People Fail to Admit Their Toxic Behaviour

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“With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism, and accusations slowly eat away at the victim’s self-esteem until he or she is incapable of judging a situation realistically. He or she may begin to believe that there is something wrong with them or even fear they are losing their mind. They have become so beaten down emotionally that they blame themselves for the abuse.” ― Beverly Engel, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing

When a person hurts someone intentionally and then behaves as if nothing has occurred, it is rarely accidental, as the response often serves an internal psychological function to protect the perpetrator. Acknowledging harm caused would require the individual to tolerate guilt, shame, or responsibility, so acting ‘normal’ allows them to bypass those uncomfortable feelings and preserve their internal equilibrium. Another motivation is defending their self-image, as many people struggle to reconcile the idea that they are capable of causing harm, viewing themselves as righteous individuals, and ignoring what they have done allows them to maintain the preferred narrative about who they are. In some cases, which is more concerning, this behaviour reflects a lack of empathy or emotional immaturity. The individual may genuinely struggle to recognize the emotional impact of their actions or may prioritize their comfort over accountability and apology. An element of power and control can also be present, implicitly signalling that the feelings of others do not warrant attention or repair, which is common in emotionally abusive or manipulative relationships. Normalization of harm can also play a role; for example, if a person grew up in an environment where the rights or feelings of others were ignored or minimized, they may unconsciously repeat that pattern, believing that harm inflicted on others should simply be endured and forgotten.

When someone acts as if nothing has happened after causing emotional harm, it is usually about their inability or unwillingness to face discomfort, not about the legitimacy of the harm they have inflicted. Protecting yourself begins with the decision to stop trying to extract accountability from anyone who is invested in avoiding it and instead focus on your boundaries, clarity, and mental health. Emotionally immature people often struggle to apologize, and the issue is usually an inability to tolerate what an apology requires internally. Reasons include:

 Fragile Self-image

Apologies often require admitting fault, and for these people, this can feel like a threat to their identity rather than conceding they have done something wrong. They experience being ‘wrong’ as being bad, defective, or unlovable.

 Shame

Apologizing can activate feelings of shame, so instead of processing that emotion, they avoid it through denial, minimization, or defensiveness. Refusing to say sorry becomes a way to escape emotional discomfort.

Externalization of Blame

Emotionally immature people often cope by blaming others or circumstances, so if someone else is always at fault, there is no need to apologize. This protects the ego but frequently damages relationships.

Avoidance

Apologies require emotional engagement, empathy, and reflection. Those who lack emotional depth or regulation skills often bypass this by acting as though nothing happened.

Fear of Losing Power or Status

In some dynamics, especially controlling or narcissistic ones, apologizing feels like surrendering authority. They may equate accountability with weakness.

Poor Empathy

If a person struggles to genuinely understand or value another’s emotional experience, they may not see why an apology is necessary at all.

Conditional or Transactional Relating

Some people consider relationships as a zero-sum game, so if they apologize, this is seen as a ‘loss’ and the other person ‘wins’ which they find extremely uncomfortable.

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.” ― Benjamin Franklin, Member of the Founding Fathers of the United States  (1706 –1790)

When someone refuses to apologize, they are making a statement about their capacity, not your worth. Internalised blame often forms because the mind tries to create coherence. If no repair occurs, the psyche looks for a reason, and the most available explanation is “it must be me.” Recognizing this pattern is the first step towards resolving the toxic interactions.

Separate the impact from acknowledgement

Harm does not require recognition to be real. Emotional impact exists independently of whether the other person admits it. Repeating this distinction helps loosen the belief that validation is required for legitimacy.

Stop rehearsing the argument

Mentally replaying conversations, explanations, or “better wording” keeps you psychologically tethered to someone who is not engaging in good faith. Each rehearsal subtly reinforces the idea that accountability is still obtainable if you try harder. It usually isn’t.

Reality Check

Patterns clarify responsibility far more accurately than isolated moments, so instead of considering a single event, look at the pattern over time. Ask yourself:

  • Do they ever say sorry to anyone?
  • Do they take responsibility elsewhere?
  • Do conflicts consistently end with silence, deflection, or reversal?

Recommendations

Challenge the Person  

This is for clarity, not persuasion, and it is important to state calmly what occurred and how it affected you. Remember that repeated explanations rarely lead to accountability with this type of character.

Observe Their Responses, Not Their Words

Pay attention to whether they show curiosity, responsibility, or change. Dismissal, deflection, or minimization is very useful information that should not be ignored.

Do Not Pursue Acknowledgement

Seeking validation from someone who avoids responsibility can cause more emotional injury. Closure does not require their agreement.

Set Boundaries

Limit emotional exposure if you identify a pattern that is being repeated or raising the problem is ignored. Distance can be a form of self-respect, not punishment. Remind yourself that someone’s refusal to acknowledge what they are doing does not invalidate your experience, as the emotional impact exists whether it is recognized or not.

This kind of conduct eventually erodes trust, safety, and emotional intimacy, and the healthiest response is often not seeking further explanation but setting clear boundaries and adjusting expectations. Preventing the pattern from continuing is not about logic but cultivating self-awareness because not receiving an apology does not mean you were wrong but reveals a person who is unable or unwilling to be accountable. When you stop internalizing their failure, your sense of clarity and self-respect will begin to return. Mature people apologize because they are emotionally mature adults, while those who are immature generally avoid apologizing to protect their fragile egos. Talking with a therapist or trusted person helps to prevent self-doubt and internalizing blame.

© Nigel Beckles

Reactive Abuse: When the Real Victim Looks Like the Villain

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“Sweet revenge always turns bitter eventually.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich, Author

Reactive Abuse occurs when a person who has been repeatedly subjected to manipulation, control, or mistreatment reaches an emotional breaking point and reacts in a way that appears aggressive, defensive, or extreme. This reaction is often the result of prolonged psychological torment, Gaslighting, humiliation, or physical aggression, which erodes emotional stability over time. When someone is consistently invalidated, provoked, or pushed to their limits, their distress may manifest such as an outburst, yelling, lashing out, or even physical retaliation. This reaction is not the cause of the abuse but rather a consequence of persistent mistreatment and emotional manipulation. Some abusers deliberately provoke reactive abuse from their partners as a means of maintaining control and shifting blame, pushing their partner to a breaking point by instigating arguments, insulting them, or withholding affection until they explode in frustration. Once this emotional reaction occurs, the abuser then weaponizes it, using it as proof that the other person is ‘unstable’, ‘crazy’, or ‘abusive’. This tactic allows the perpetrator to portray themselves as the victim while further manipulating and discrediting their partner. Reactive abuse can be used as a tool of manipulation by abusers to maintain dominance in a relationship as the instigator orchestrates situations where their partner reacts emotionally or aggressively, creating a false narrative that justifies their control or dominance.

  • If you suspect you are experiencing Reactive Abuse, watch for signs such as being unfairly blamed for conflicts, deliberate attempts to confuse or disorient you, and manipulative tactics that make you question reality.
  • The abuser may emotionally torment you, pushing you to your breaking point, while refusing to acknowledge their own faults and instead shifting all focus onto your perceived flaws.
  • They may also launch a smear campaign to damage your reputation, subject you to emotional, psychological, and mental mistreatment, and exploit your sensitivity as a means of control and manipulation.

“Reactive abuse is your fight mode being activated in response to abuse. When you are being abused, you try to defend yourself through lashing out, verbal insults, or even physically. The abuser may even provoke you until you snap. They then use your fight response to further blame you for the hostile relationship and claim they are the victim.” ― Emma Rose Byham, Was It Even Abuse?: Restoring Clarity After Covert Abuse

This manipulation may extend to outsiders, such as friends, family, or even law enforcement, who witness the emotional reaction without understanding the context behind it. The real abuser may then use this to gain sympathy, isolate their partner further, or convince others that they are the one being mistreated. Over time, the person actually being abused may begin to doubt their own reality, internalize guilt, and feel responsible for the toxic dynamic, further trapping them in the cycle of abuse.

Recommendations for Handling Reactive Abuse

  • Recognize the signs of provocation and manipulation; understanding the cycle can help break the pattern.
  • Maintain emotional regulation and try not to engage in escalating conflicts, even when being pushed.
  • Seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals who can provide validation and guidance.
  • Document incidents of abuse, including patterns of provocation, to maintain a clear perspective on the situation.
  • Establish and enforce personal boundaries to prevent being drawn into manipulative arguments.
  • Seriously consider creating an exit strategy to leave the toxic environment, as prolonged exposure to manipulation can be damaging.

Conclusion

Reactive Abuse is a destructive tactic used by manipulators to shift blame and maintain control in toxic relationships. By provoking emotional reactions, abusers can distort reality, isolate their partners, and portray themselves as the true victim. Understanding this dynamic is essential for breaking the cycle, reclaiming personal agency, and seeking the necessary support to heal from the emotional turmoil caused by prolonged mistreatment.

© Nigel Beckles

Reference: Reactive Abuse: When They Call You Abusive for Reacting To Their Abuse – Alexandra Hall https://themindsjournal.com/reactive-abuse/

The Hazards of Rebound Relationships

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“One of the best times for figuring out who you are & what you really want out of life? Right after a break-up.” ― Mandy Hale, The Single Woman–Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass: Embracing Singleness with Confidence

A failed relationship can be difficult to deal with emotionally during the aftermath. Moving on can be difficult and it can be tempting to become involved with someone else too soon.  A rebound relationship occurs when someone enters into a romantic connection shortly after the end of a previous relationship, often before they’ve had the time to process and heal from their breakup. These relationships are typically driven by the emotional void left by the previous partnership and are often fuelled by the need for distraction, validation, or avoidance of loneliness. While a rebound relationship can feel comforting or exciting in the moment, it is often built on unstable emotional foundations, which can lead to complications for both individuals involved. People can embark on rebound relationships for all the wrong reasons, including:

Unresolved Feelings

Still being emotionally attached to an ex-partner or harbouring resentment, longing, or anger can make someone seek a rebound for distraction.

Fear of Loneliness

A strong discomfort with being single or alone can prompt someone to jump into a new relationship quickly.

Low Self-Esteem

Seeking external validation to rebuild a damaged sense of self-worth after a breakup can increase susceptibility.

Impulsivity

A tendency to act without fully considering the consequences may lead someone to rush into a new relationship that may be unsuitable or even toxic.

Pressure from Social Circles

Feeling societal or peer pressure to “move on” or “get back out there” may push someone into a rebound relationship.

Idealization of Relationships

Believing that being in a relationship is the only path to happiness or fulfilment can drive someone to seek a partner immediately after a breakup.

Avoidance of Emotional Pain

Using a new partner as a way to suppress or avoid processing the grief, loss, or pain associated with the previous relationship.

“Alone also means available for someone outstanding.” ― Greg Behrendt, It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy

Entering a rebound relationship can hinder emotional healing and prevent someone from fully addressing the issues or emotions stemming from their previous relationship. Without this introspection, unresolved baggage may be carried into the new relationship, creating an unstable and unbalanced dynamic. Additionally, the new partner may be seen more as a placeholder or a source of distraction than as a meaningful and independent connection. This can lead to unintentional emotional harm for both parties, as well as perpetuate patterns of dependency or avoidance. Taking time to reflect, heal, and rebuild personal identity after a breakup is crucial for fostering healthy, lasting connections in the future. Rushing into a rebound relationship may feel like a good idea at the time, but it often undermines the opportunity for true emotional growth and self-discovery.

(C) Nigel Beckles

Red Flags! Being Rushed into a Relationship

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“Loneliness makes us rush into relationships; it keeps us in the wrong relationships; and it urges us to accept less than we deserve.” ― Jay Shetty, 8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go

Some individuals attempt to rush others into a relationship due to a variety of underlying reasons, often tied to their own emotional needs or insecurities. For some, the urgency stems from a fear of rejection or abandonment, pushing them to secure commitment quickly to alleviate their anxiety. Others may have an idealized notion of love or relationships and seek to fast-track the process to fulfil their romantic fantasies. There are also cases where the person rushing feels a sense of control or power in dictating the pace, using speed as a way to avoid deeper scrutiny of compatibility. Additionally, societal pressures, such as age, cultural expectations, or the need to ‘settle down’ can drive someone to bypass the natural progression of a relationship while seeking speedy personal validation. Allowing yourself to be rushed into a relationship can have significant emotional and psychological consequences. A hasty commitment may lead to overlooking key incompatibilities or red flags, which could result in a strained and ultimately unsatisfying connection. Without the time to build trust and mutual understanding, the union risks becoming unbalanced, with one partner potentially feeling pressured or coerced. Rushing into a premature commitment can stunt emotional intimacy, as the foundation of the relationship is built on urgency rather than genuine connection. In extreme cases, it may also leave individuals vulnerable to manipulation, control, or unhealthy dynamics, as the person rushed into a commitment has probably not had the opportunity to evaluate their partner’s intentions or character fully. Over time, the lack of a strong and thoughtful beginning can begin to show cracks that are difficult to repair, leading to emotional burnout, heartbreak, or both. Red flags or warning signs that someone is trying to rush a relationship include:

  • Constantly pushing for exclusivity early on without giving time to understand each other’s values and goals.
  • Showing impatience or frustration when asked to slow down or take time to reflect.
  • Attempting to isolate the person from their friends or family to reduce outside input or perspective.
  • Overloading the relationship with intense emotional declarations or grand gestures early on, creating a sense of obligation.
  • Ignoring boundaries or disregarding a partner’s need for space, instead emphasizing their own timeline or expectations.

Abusers are often known to try and rush people into relationships, and this behaviour is a common tactic in abusive dynamics. This urgency is not about genuine affection or excitement; rather, it is a deliberate strategy to gain control and establish dominance before the other person has had the chance to evaluate the relationship fully. By moving quickly, abusers aim to avoid the natural process of trust-building and critical assessment, leaving their partner emotionally entangled before red flags or inconsistencies become apparent. This tactic, sometimes referred to as ‘Love Bombing’ can involve overwhelming displays of affection, grand promises about the future, and an insistence on exclusivity or commitment early on. The abuser may idealize the relationship, making their partner feel special or indispensable to create an emotional dependency. Once the commitment is secured, the abuser may gradually shift to controlling, manipulative, or coercive behaviour, exploiting the bond they hurried to create. By accelerating the pace of the relationship, the abuser may attempt to limit outside influences or critical voices that could provide perspective or challenge their behaviour. This can make it harder for the victim to step back and recognize the unhealthy dynamics forming. Being aware of this behaviour and taking the time to observe someone’s actions over an extended period is crucial in identifying potential abuse.

“Don’t rush into love. You’ll find the person meant for you when you least expect it.” ― Franzie Gubatina, Author

To avoid being rushed into a relationship, it is essential to maintain a strong sense of self-awareness and independence. Take time to reflect on your own feelings, ensuring that any steps forward align with your own comfort level and values. Open communication is essential; clearly express your boundaries and expectations about the pace of the relationship. Surround yourself with trusted friends and family who can offer objective insights and support as you navigate this decision. Prioritize getting to know the other person fully, allowing the relationship to unfold naturally through shared experiences and open dialogue. It is also important to trust your intuition; if something feels off or hurried, acknowledge those feelings and reassess the situation. While the excitement of a new relationship can be intoxicating, it is essential to employ a thoughtful, deliberate approach to avoid any damaging experiences later on. Relationships built on mutual respect, patience, and understanding are far more likely to thrive. By recognizing the signs of being rushed into a commitment and staying true to your values, you can cultivate connections that are not only fulfilling but also grounded in authenticity and trust.

(C) Nigel Beckles

Relationships & Personality Disorders: Part 4

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“The closest term to sociopath is Antisocial Personality Disorder. The criteria for diagnosis include impairments in self-esteem, self-direction, empathy, intimacy, plus the use of manipulation and deceit, and the presence of hostility, callousness, irresponsibility, impulsivity, and a lack of concern for one’s limitations: risk-taking.” ― A.J. Rich, The Hand That Feeds You

Welcome Back! This is part 4 of Relationships & Personality Disorders series. Previous articles available on this website.  

Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)

Interacting with someone who has Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) can present significant challenges, primarily because of their tendency toward manipulative, deceitful, and sometimes exploitative behaviour. These individuals often lack empathy and have difficulty forming genuine emotional connections. They may violate social norms, disregard the feelings of others, and show little remorse for their actions. This can make them difficult to trust, as they may engage in reckless, impulsive behaviours without considering the consequences for others. The disorder is also associated with a high propensity for legal trouble, as individuals may have a history of criminal activity or rule-breaking, complicating relationships further. Because people with this mental health condition often manipulate situations to their advantage, engaging with them can lead to feeling exploited or emotionally drained. Referred to sometimes as sociopaths, they are individuals who generally have a disregard for the rights of others or the accepted rules of society. They tend to lie, be aggressive, disregard safety, violate the law, and have a lack of empathy or remorse and are willing to use deception or manipulation to get whatever they want, such as power or money. They frequently portray themselves as charismatic or charming. Sociopaths often use mind games to control friends, relatives, co-workers, and even strangers and may con others, use aliases, or steal to achieve their desires. While some can be convicted criminals, they can also be active in politics, business, or religious organisations or hold positions of authority within their communities. It is important to note that not all narcissists are sociopathic, but all sociopaths often have strong narcissistic traits. Characteristics include:

  • Lying and using false identities or nicknames that can be used to deceive others
  • Exploits others for personal gain.
  • Often behaves without thinking of the consequences.
  • Can become highly aggravated or aggressive.
  • Fails to consider their own safety or the safety of others.
  • Does not feel guilt or remorse for having harmed or mistreated others.
  • Uses humour, intelligence, or charisma to manipulate others.

They often have a strong sense of superiority and strong opinions, and they try to control others by scaring them. Keeping a regular job can also be difficult because parts of their personalities often cause problems with co-workers. They are also prone to engaging in criminal activity, frequently con artists, and can repeatedly be in legal trouble, demonstrating extremely poor judgement and failing to learn from their experiences while displaying unresponsiveness in their interpersonal associations, generally unable to maintain positive friendships or associations. Their sexual experiences are highly detached, trivial, and poorly integrated, with untruthfulness and insincerity being constant features. Lacking any feelings of empathy or remorse, they can invest a great deal of effort and resources in seeking to keep their abusive past a secret, and there is a real possibility they may seek to physically harm anyone who tries to expose them. These individuals are also likely to seek revenge, even by using violence, in retribution for any perceived grievances or betrayals in various areas of their lives. A sociopath will repeatedly demand loyalty but fail to be loyal to others, revealing their extreme selfishness.

Dating

“There are only two kinds of people in this world; those who have a conscience and those who do not.” ― P. A. Speers, Type 1 Sociopath – When Difficult People Are More Than Just Difficult People

When dating or getting to know someone with suspected ASPD, certain red flags may indicate the disorder, including:

  • Repeated dishonesty or habitual lying, often for self-gain or without apparent reason.
  • A history of legal issues or criminal behaviour, often downplayed or blamed on others.
  • Lack of remorse or guilt after hurting someone or breaking societal rules.
  • Manipulative tendencies, such as charming someone into doing things against their will.
  • Emotional shallowness, where deep emotions seem faked or overly dramatic but lack true depth.

For someone in an intimate or romantic relationship with someone who has ASPD, there are several recommendations to consider:

  • Set clear and firm boundaries. People with ASPD tend to push boundaries, so maintaining a strong sense of what is acceptable behaviour is crucial.
  • Be cautious about trust. Due to tendencies toward manipulation and deceit, trust needs to be earned over time and not given freely.
  • Avoid enabling or excusing harmful behaviour. Individuals with ASPD may try to shift the blame or justify harmful actions, but it’s important not to excuse this behaviour.
  • Consider professional help, such as individual therapy, to better understand the dynamics of the relationship and to seek guidance on managing it.
  • Evaluate the potential for long-term happiness and safety, as relationships with individuals who exhibit severe ASPD traits can often become unsustainable or emotionally harmful.

These individuals are not easy to identify and can appear quite normal and very appealing in the beginning. They are expert con artists, and it can be very easy to be targeted and fall into their clutches. Once they achieve their objectives, he or she can become extremely cruel or manipulative or just suddenly disappear. Red Flags include:

  • Superficially charming and charismatic.
  • Extremely controlling.
  • Volatile mood swings
  • Prey on the target’s positive qualities.
  • Refuses to take any responsibility for the mistreatment of others or any criminal acts.
  • Do not appear to have many friends or close relationships.
  • Constantly creating problems, chaos, or a crisis but expecting their dating partner to resolve them.
  • Can show contempt and cruelty to the person he or she is dating.

Engaging in continuous compliments tends to be their strategy; they often know what to say to create a favourable impression.  This is just a ploy to lure others into the web of smoke and mirrors, as they have very little concern for the feelings of others. When they fail to successfully exploit someone, extreme manipulation can be used to achieve their objectives. Individuals targeted often blame themselves for becoming involved, but perpetrators are usually very efficient at various brainwashing techniques. Their superficial charm is usually the means by which he or she conditions others, and this diverts attention from the deeply disturbing aspects of their personality. When dating or romantically involved, they frequently provide the bare minimum of genuine information about themselves.

Already Involved 

“We do not have to be mental health professionals to identify the traits of the possible sociopaths among us.” – P.A. Speers, Type 1 Sociopath: When Difficult People Are More Than Just Difficult People

Relationships with individuals who have ASPD are often marked by emotional strain, manipulation, and difficulty forming genuine connections. Being mindful of red flags early on can help individuals avoid unhealthy dynamics. If a person is already involved, it will be crucial to establish strong boundaries and safeguard their emotional well-being. If you are already involved with a sociopath (or have been in the past), you are probably aware of the variety of manipulative strategies they use against their victims. While capable of providing occasional positive attention, he or she can suddenly withdraw, which is usually an attempt at manipulation. This can be very unsettling and confusing for their partner. When involved in romantic connections, they can be very deceptive, possibly cheating with multiple partners. When they cannot obtain what they desire, ruthless manipulation and cruelty become normal practices; the fake charm is turned off, and the true personality behind the mask emerges. The combination of outrageous lies and manipulation wreaks havoc in all of their personal interactions, and many sociopaths destroy the personal lives of others without any feelings of guilt, shame, or remorse. They can persuade ex-partners to stay in touch if this serves some type of benefit for him or her; status, information, money, or sex can all be motivating factors.

Therapy and support networks can be essential in navigating these relationships, but ultimately, recognising the limitations of the union and prioritising personal well-being should be the main priority. It can be very emotionally taxing to be with someone who lacks empathy, so it’s important to engage in self-care and seek support from friends or a therapist if necessary. This mental condition can be extremely difficult to treat, and many of them rarely seek treatment; talk therapy can be useful, which may include anger and violence management or substance abuse treatment. The only sensible strategy for the partner of a Sociopath is to plan an exit strategy as soon as possible because the situation is very unlikely to improve significantly.

(C) Nigel Beckles

Relationships & Personality Disorders: Part 3  

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“Histrionic individuals engage in very dramatic behaviour with exaggerated displays of emotion and an impressionistic style of speaking that come off as disingenuous to discerning onlookers.” – Shahida Arabi, Thought Catalogue Online

Welcome Back! This is part 3 of Relationships & Personality Disorders series. Previous articles available on this website.  

Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD)

The word histrionic means ‘dramatic’ or ‘theatrical.’ Their self-esteem depends on the approval of others, and they lack a true sense of self-worth. They have an overwhelming desire to be noticed and often behave dramatically or inappropriately to get attention. This reassures them they are significant, resulting in a demeanour that appears to be excessively dramatic, insincere, self-centred, provocative, and flirtatious. When interacting with someone with this disorder, several challenges may arise; one key difficulty is the person’s intense need for attention, which can manifest in behaviours that are overly dramatic or emotional. This constant demand for validation can strain the relationship, as the individual may become upset or frustrated if they feel ignored or undervalued. They may also exhibit superficial emotions or exaggerated expressions, making genuine emotional connection difficult. Another challenge is their susceptibility to others’ influence or fleeting emotions, which can result in inconsistent and unpredictable behaviour. Additionally, those with HPD may be overly concerned with their appearance and how others perceive them, leading to vanity and a focus on superficial qualities over deeper aspects of relationships. This can create frustration for others who are seeking meaningful, balanced interaction. Early in the relationship, their charisma and charm might be highly attractive. They may display strong emotions, excitement, and passion, creating a sense of intense connection. However, these characteristics can also become problematic, especially if their behaviour turns into constant attention-seeking or emotional highs and lows that are difficult to manage.

Dating

“Exhibitionists have no friends, no friends at all.” – Quentin Crisp, The Naked Civil Servant; How To Become A Virgin; Resident Alien

When dating someone with HPD, there are certain red flags to be aware of, such as a tendency to embarrass friends and acquaintances by displaying dramatic behaviour in public over minor occurrences and a constant need for reassurance and approval from others. They may also be easily influenced by others and use their appearance and charm to attract attention. While dating, they may appear to be rapidly forming deep attachments yet struggle with maintaining long-term intimacy. It is essential for the person dating someone with HPD to set and maintain clearly defined personal rules, communicate openly about their needs and concerns, and be aware of any potential manipulation. When dating or getting to know someone with Histrionic Personality Disorder, several red flags to look out for include:

  • A constant need to be the centre of attention in social situations. Emotions fluctuate quickly and appear disproportionate to the situation.
  • There can be a pattern of behaving or dressing in an unsuitable manner in seductive or provocative situations.
  • They can have a habit of using dramatic or ambiguous language, frequently lacking support for their assertions or concepts.
  • Easily influenced by others or situations, often shifting opinions or behaviours based on external feedback rather than personal conviction.

Recognising these behaviours early on can help navigate the complexities of interacting with someone who has HPD and it is essential to adopt strategies that both respect the individual and set appropriate boundaries. Here are some recommendations:

Stay Calm and Grounded

HPD can lead individuals to display dramatic or exaggerated emotions, which can create tension in interactions. Keeping your responses calm and measured helps diffuse potential emotional situations and sets a steady tone for the conversation.

Maintain Clear Boundaries

People with HPD often crave attention and validation, and they may push boundaries to maintain a sense of importance. Be firm and respectful in setting limits on how much attention you can give or how much of their emotional needs you can meet, without enabling unhealthy patterns.

Don’t Reinforce Attention-Seeking Behaviour

While it may seem easier to give into dramatic displays or emotional outbursts, doing so can reinforce the behaviour. Instead, calmly acknowledge their feelings without amplifying the drama; try to focus on the real issue at hand.

Encourage Deeper Communication

Individuals with HPD may focus on surface-level conversations or exaggerate emotions. Encouraging them to delve into more thoughtful, meaningful discussions can help shift the focus from attention-seeking to genuine connection. Be patient, as this may take time.

Avoid Providing Validation

People with HPD often seek constant reassurance or validation. While it’s important to provide positive feedback when appropriate, avoid indulging their need for constant attention. Encouraging self-reliance in emotional regulation can be more helpful in the long run.

Create Empathetic Boundaries

While demonstrating empathy is crucial, it’s equally important to avoid becoming entangled in their emotional highs and lows. Staying empathetic to their feelings without becoming emotionally entangled yourself helps maintain balance in the relationship.

If behaviours related to HPD become difficult to manage or are causing significant problems, it may be beneficial to gently suggest seeking professional support, such as therapy. A licensed mental health professional can help individuals with HPD manage their emotional needs and develop healthier relationship skills.

Already Involved

“Anything done in excess becomes hazardous, not only to the entity, but also to a personage; in that it brings untoward behaviour to scrutiny in the hoax of trying to reach out. Even ‘l love you’ mislay the poise of oneness when said over and over again.” – TinMasun, Author

This mental disorder can affect a person’s social or romantic experiences, impact how the person reacts to personal failures, and put them at a higher risk of suffering from episodes of depression. In their intimate connections, they may act in a shallow and rapidly changing manner, with their speech being general and lacking details. Individuals may be highly suggestible and easily influenced by others and can struggle frequently in their romantic liaisons due to issues with intimacy and a need for dramatic situations. In addition a person with HPD can:

  • Feel uncomfortable or unappreciated if they are not the centre of attention.
  • Constantly seek reassurance, approval, or attention.
  • Act sexually seductive in inappropriate situations.
  • Be lively and dramatic.
  • Exhibit excessive emotionality.
  • Have the ability to charm new acquaintances with their enthusiasm and apparent openness.
  • They may have a self-focused attitude, and their conversations may often revolve around themselves.

Being in an intimate or romantic relationship with someone with this mental health disorder can present a range of challenges, and the prospects depend largely on the emotional dynamics of the relationship and the personalities involved. People with this personality disorder often display traits that can complicate long-term, stable intimacy. Their emotional volatility can make it difficult to navigate conflict or communicate effectively about serious issues. Individuals with HPD often prioritise receiving admiration over the deeper, more intimate aspects of a relationship, which can lead to a sense of emotional distance or superficiality. A person with a partner who has HPD may struggle with the exaggerated displays of emotion, impulsivity, and dramatic behaviour over a period of time. This can make it difficult for the relationship to progress into a stable, long-term commitment. Jealousy and insecurity may also arise, as individuals with HPD may engage in flirtatious or attention-seeking behaviour with others, even when in a committed relationship. This can create mistrust and tension, especially if the partner feels neglected or undermined. They may also have a hard time recognising or respecting boundaries, which can lead to power struggles or feelings of being manipulated.

This condition can be difficult to diagnose and treat, but psychotherapy and medication can be helpful in managing symptoms and can also be beneficial in navigating the challenges that may arise. On the positive side, if both partners are aware of the disorder and willing to work through the emotional complexities, seeking professional support, such as therapy, can be beneficial. Couples counselling can help create healthier communication patterns and develop strategies for managing the challenges; while relationships with people who have HPD can be passionate and exciting, they also require significant emotional resilience, patience, and occasionally professional intervention to maintain balance and meet the needs of both partners. Many people with this disorder can often function well socially and at work, while those with severe cases can experience significant problems in their daily lives.

(C) Nigel Beckles

Relationships & Personality Disorders: Part 2

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“Owing to a poorly defined sense of self, people with BPD rely on others for their feelings of worth and emotional caretaking. So fearful are they of feeling alone that they may act in desperate ways that quite frequently bring about the very abandonment and rejection they’re trying to avoid.” – Kimberlee Roth, Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem

Welcome Back! This is part 2 of Relationships & Personality Disorders series. Previous articles available on this website.  

Borderline Personality Disorder

Interacting with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can present several challenges due to its nature. Individuals with BPD often experience intense emotional instability and fluctuate between extremes in their thoughts and behaviors. This can lead to rapid mood swings, a heightened sensitivity to perceived criticism, and a deep fear of abandonment. These emotional highs and lows can make it difficult to maintain stable relationships, as reactions might be disproportionate to the situation at hand. People with BPD may also struggle with impulsivity, which can lead to actions that are unpredictable or self-destructive. Additionally, they may experience feelings of emptiness or identity confusion, which can complicate interactions due to their fluctuating sense of self. When it comes to dating or getting to know someone you may suspect of having BPD, there are several red flags to be aware of:

  • They experience an intense fear of abandonment, even in situations where there is no genuine threat of leaving. Their perception of others rapidly fluctuates, alternating between idealisation and devaluation, known commonly referred to as “splitting”.
  • There are frequent emotional outbursts that appear out of proportion to the circumstances.
  • Impulsive or self-destructive behaviors include reckless spending, substance abuse, or unsafe sexual practices.
  • A sense of self that lacks consistency or stability can cause confusion or unpredictable behavior. Relationships often follow an unstable pattern, characterized by conflict and intensity.

These signs may not always indicate BPD, but they can suggest potential challenges in a relationship with someone who has difficulty regulating their emotions. When someone has BPD, their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors can cause long-term problems in their lives and in their intimate connections with others. There are mornings when they feel great, but their mood can decline throughout the day. Fears of rejection or abandonment often cause them to become moody or even have outbursts of anger, which you may find confusing or upsetting. They occasionally exhibit strong urges and impulses, which can lead to significant issues, particularly if you’re seeking a long-term partner with a consistent mood. Their impulsivity may put a person or their partner at risk. It is important to understand that their interactions are not necessarily deliberate or malicious; it is just how this particular personality disorder manifests itself at times. Deciding to become seriously involved with a person with BPD will require a considerable amount of thought and a serious commitment.

Already Involved

“Borderlines create the vicious circles they fear most. They become angry and drive the relationship to the breaking point, then switch to a posture of helplessness and contrition and beg for reconciliation. If both parties are equally enmeshed, chaos and conflict become the soul of the relationship.”–Theodore Millon, American Psychologist (August 18, 1928 – January 29, 2014)

A person with BPD can exhibit traits such as being very caring, compassionate, and affectionate, as well as being highly physical and eager to spend a significant amount of time with their partner. However, they may also experience episodes of dysfunctional behavior and turmoil. They may develop heightened sensitivity to rejection or the perceived or actual possibility of abandonment. Many individuals with this condition may become intensely focused on perceived indications of their partner’s dissatisfaction or potential departure from the relationship. When he or she suspects a change in their partner’s feelings, they may immediately withdraw, becoming angry, obsessive, or feeling wounded over something a person without the condition would not necessarily react to. Individuals with this condition frequently wreak havoc in their social and personal interactions, and they are often skilled manipulators. The following are the most common treatments for BPD:

Therapy

A therapist will teach the person how to respond to situations using reason and appropriate judgement. This can reduce the typical black-and-white thinking many individuals with BPD have.

Medication

At present, medication for BPD is not available. Anti-depressants, anti-anxiety drugs, and anti-psychotics (which treat types of mental health problems) may help alleviate certain symptoms.

Hospitalisation

If there are signs of self-harm or suicidal thoughts, a doctor may recommend hospitalization for observation and intensive therapy.

Understanding a partner can have a positive effect on these personality types, but it will require a genuine effort by both individuals. Long-term romantic partnerships and marriages are possible for individuals with this Personality Disorder. Treatment cannot usually cure BPD but it can certainly help, along with a partner who recognises the challenges and a counsellor who can assist the individual in finding a degree of stability within their often fluctuating emotional states.

(C) Nigel Beckles

If you missed Part 1 exploring Narcissists and relationships, you can check it out @

Relationships & Personality Disorders: Part 1